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Making a Living – A Personal Story of Class
The recent death of Barbara Ehrenreich, author of the New York Times best seller Nickel and Dimed, reminded me of wanting to write about a neighbor who worked at the local Giant Eagle grocery store as a cashier. I meant to share this years ago. It’s a simple, yet complex story. It’s a story of class and the American Dream.
I was buying some last-minute supplies for our neighborhood’s annual block party celebrating National Night Out. In my welcoming manner, I invited and likely encouraged this neighbor that I didn’t know so well who was bagging my groceries to come to the event. She replied that she couldn’t make it since she was working her second job that evening.
Something about her comment jarred me. I felt sad that she needed to work two jobs. I’m figuring it was to make ends meet, but it could have been for another reason. I felt a bit embarrassed that I’m into this little neighborhood event and she had more pressing ways to spend her time. I felt a class difference that made me feel uncomfortable. Right, and she was bagging my groceries! Being able to earn a living working one job afforded me the privilege to organize and attend a community event.
I had a flashback to Barbara Ehrenreich’s Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America. In 1998 she went “undercover” to experience the life of working minimum wage jobs, fully immersed living off of that income, I believe for a year. With millions living in poverty, she was inspired to see if the promise of welfare reform was real, that any job can enable a better life. It was clear that in order to have a roof over her head and food on the table, the $6.00 minimum wage required having two jobs. It is a compelling, classic work that I think is still relevant today. How interesting that she died three days before Labor Day.
Even though wages are going up, partly thanks to the pandemic, they are not keeping pace with inflation. Working two jobs often doesn’t afford the privilege of community activities, school involvement, and children’s extracurricular activities. Wouldn’t we all be better off if this were more possible?
People are sometimes needing to be in two jobs to make ends meet through no fault of their own. Reasons might be parents couldn’t afford post-high school education, divorce, unexpected health costs, and so much more. Personally I think people who work two jobs are most likely hard workers.
It’s hard for me to write this article about class and not mention race, partially because I am just finishing the book Waking Up White and Finding the Story of Race, by Debby Irving. I want everyone to read this book, oops I mean white people! Email me, and I will buy you a copy! It’s had that much impact on me. This topic may be another article, but I wanted to mention it. No, my grocery store neighbor was not a person of color. Yes, I believe there are so many more unseen and historic barriers to the American Dream for people of color from our 400+ year history of racism.
Letting Go
My speeding ticket message last month of slowing down continued when I smashed three toes into the base of my desk chair rushing to a Zoom appointment. My national morning meditation message two days later really resonated: She Let Go, a poem by Reverend Safire Rose. Whether letting go of pushing (as in my case), letting go of a lovely season like summer, or letting go of resentments at work or from job loss, it can be a challenge. Letting go is what can create space for the future, for better things to happen, for new attitudes and behaviors.
Naturally my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search, has a reading on Letting Go. I invite you to share it (below) with a job seeker you may know, and also to take in the last two paragraphs for your personal life. I was delighted to receive a note this week from a speaker colleague, Dave Jakielo, who wrote “I realized your advice just isn’t for folks searching for a job, it can be for numerous situations in life.”
May you find the inspiration you need for your challenges, and when needed….let go.
Letting Go Excerpt from Help Wanted
We can get stuck in negative emotions during the search. Letting go gives a path forward. Sometimes a job transition is not your choice. You may have been “let go.” Sometimes we’re currently employed but in a poor career fit or toxic environment. Sometimes we feel treated unfairly in the job search process. It is natural to feel a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and bitterness.
Feeling and expressing emotions in a healthy way is helpful and possibly even necessary to moving forward. Punch a pillow, write in a journal, hammer nails, see a counselor. Do whatever works for you. Moving through and letting go of negative emotions can lead to more acceptance and make room for hope and opportunity. Forgiving someone is more about helping you than the perceived offender.
If we do not let go of past hurts, they can subtly seep out as negative energy in networking meetings and job interviews despite our thinking we are projecting our best self.
Affirmation: I let go of past hurts so I can move forward authentically.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
Joseph Campbell
Time – Travel Story
After getting a speeding ticket today, I was inspired to write about TIME. Ironically, I was rushing to get to a massage appointment. Dovetailing, I am including the Time excerpt from my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs for the Job Search. Over 80% of the Time reading applies to everyday life, not just the job search, so I hope you’ll read on.
I have a complicated relationship with time. Mostly I underestimate the time it takes to do something or try to get just one more thing done before leaving. I’ve even drafted in my head how this would be the answer to my “What are your weaknesses?” question, with well-crafted examples of self-talk about how I am self-aware and have made progress. I often joke that if there was a Time Disorder in the DSM mental health directory, I would have it.
So in these “lazy days of summer,” are you allowing yourself some time to slow down, relax, rejuvenate, reflect, enjoy the ride? A nice touchstone are lyrics from a favorite James Taylor song of mine, Secret O’ Life.
Link to the song.
And if it’s time for your or a loved one to explore greater career happiness, I’d be happy to help, More info here.
TIME
Excerpt from my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search
Available through on-line and brick and mortar bookstores everywhere. Signed copy via my website.
Time can drag when you are waiting to hear from an employer. Time can feel like it’s running out when you’ve been in the job search process for a while, facing impending financial pressures. Some days fly by productively, and some languish in misery.
We try to control time by all manner of goal-setting and time management techniques. While some strategy is important in the search for productivity, pause to reflect on the bigger picture. Allow yourself time for family, friends, and self-care. A layoff may even be a gift of time for things more important than work. You may have heard it said that on one’s deathbed, we don’t say we wish we spent more time with work.
Looking at the past brings regret and looking at the future brings worry. The only time that is real is the present moment. Accept it. Make the most of it. Be fully present whether with friends or family or in your job search. Take a breath and trust your time will come.
Affirmation: I accept the present moment and will make the most of it
Bonus inspiration: The quote on featured picture of my dining room clock.