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Podcast Guest of Jeff Altman – Roller Coaster Job Search and Kindness

What fun being a guest on Jeff Altman’s podcast featuring my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Jeff is a highly accomplished career coach and founder of JobSearchTV.com on YouTube where you can find many great job search podcasts.  He’s known as The Big Game Hunter from his recruiting days seeking out top talent.

Please do check out Jeff’s great offerings!  I was so busy with my Virtual Job Club Tour in the fall that I missed the release of my podcast.  So even if you’ve heard me or know what my book is all about, please CLICK HERE to the video and maybe another of Jeff’s links in this article.  If your prefer, here is the transcript link instead. We all know how important clicks are in search engine optimization, SEO, and I’d like to support Jeff for the kindness he showed me.  Plus, surely you know someone in or thinking about the job search who can benefit from wise counsel, so please consider clicking and sharing!  I want to give a special shout out to Jeff’s services on Leadership Coaching and Executive Coaching.  Actually, I’ve had a hard time finding people who do Executive Coaching not sponsored by the employer, so I’m excited to refer Jeff to you and some of my future clients!

Kindness Reminders

What was so fun about Jeff’s podcast (besides him) is that he randomly picked and read excerpts from my book and then asked me to comment.  One of the topics he opened to was Kindness.  With the winter holidays’ emphasis on giving, I encourage us to give one of the most important gifts, kindness.  It doesn’t cost anything and just take a few seconds. Kindness might just be a smile or silent blessing to someone you pass on the street or a thank you to a customer service employee.  Or maybe a gift of services to a relative, or a monetary contribution to a person or organization in need. May this reminder of kindness warm your heart and holiday spirit.

Kindness Excerpt from My Book

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”

Fred Rogers

Kindness softens our edges. Although we may feel most in need of kindness during the job search, we are well-served to extend it.

Sometimes we can feel we are being treated unkindly in the job search. We may be not hearing back in a timely way after an interview or from a networking lead. People have busy schedules and competing needs. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and you’ll likely feel better. The alternative may be bitterness, which will not help in the job search.

Beyond the search, spread kindness wherever you can. Because of the stressful job search journey, you may know more than others the benefit of a smile, an encouraging word, or extra effort. Sharing kindness from your heart can help your soul and may even attract kindness towards you.

I extend kindness to others as I would like to receive it.

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Bullied in the Workplace? Here’s Help!

When I received the article link to the Harvard Business Review article on bullying, it reminded me that I wanted to address this topic since I saw a fabulous presentation by Janet Glover-Kerkvliet at the Middle Atlantic Career Counseling Association through her role at the Workplace Bullying Institute. My notes are long since lost, but what I most remember and advise clients routinely is that the situation will most likely not change. The best recourse is to cut losses and start networking and looking for a new job. 

The Harvard Business Review article noted that 48.6 million Americans or about 30% of the workforce are being bullied at work.  Bullying has a significant impact not only psychologically, but physically, socially, economically and even organizationally, such as lost productivity, increased healthcare costs and turnover and replacement costs.

From the program and the Workplace Bullying Institute site, I’ve been most struck by:

Errors in Traditional Advice –

-Confronting the bully – It’s natural to think you should do this, but usually it doesn’t work and the bully has the power of surprise.

-Tell the bully’s boss – This person will not stop it because they likely know about the bully and condone or ignore the behavior, or they may be afraid of the bully.

-Tell Human Resources – HR is a management support function and not in a role to advocate. Even if a well-meaning HR person wanted to help, they usually do not have the clout to affect behavior, especially with higher-level managers.  The Workplace Bullying Institute advises to tell HR last.

How to Take Action –

-Don’t delay action from paralysis, shame, hoping the bully will stop, or waiting until an investigation by HR or a law firm is over which can take months. Cut losses and start the healing process.

-Recognize and name the bullying early.  Listen to your gut and perspectives of friends and family.

-Spend time quality time with people who can validate who you were before the bullying to help you counter shame.

-Find a mental health professional with expertise in trauma.

-Document specific situations, dates, places and who was present.  Ask colleagues “Did you hear that?”  Asking “Has it ever happened to you?” can help break the silence.

-Connect with an attorney to explore legal options.  This can be difficult in that bullying is not illegal, but sometimes is connected to discrimination issues.

-If you want to go public, do so with the highest ranking neutral upper-level manager.  Assemble cost data to show a business reason to address bullying.  Rehearse and focus on facts, not emotions.

-Be prepared to be fired for speaking out. Keep contacts and projects organized and accessible at home as permitted since terminations for employees are often immediate.

-Begin networking and looking for another job to be happier and healthier.

The Workplace Bullying Institute has a plethora or resources for organizations wishing to prevent and intervene with bullying behavior and training for professionals of all backgrounds including in the mental health, HR, legal, and education fields.

The Workplace Bullying Institute has a special comprehensive section called Help for Bullied People, with sections including:

  • Recognition
  • Workplace Bullying Defined
  • What Bullying Is Not
  • Why It Happens
  • Bullying Types and Tactics
  • Targets, the Best Among Us
  • About Your Perplexing Coworkers
  • Selecting a Therapist
  • Checking Legal Options
  • Living After Bullying

I hope these insights help many people whether you are being bullied, know a victim, or can help someone personally or professionally who is being bullied.

Since the message that most resonated is that the bully will not change, please know I am here to help with action steps of networking and looking for a new job.