Who might you want to thank in your life? On the 10th Anniversary of my business in 2012 I hosted a Pittsburgh World Gratitude Day event.  I found out about the September 21 world holiday when looking up the term “Thank-You-Note-a-thon” which was my original idea for the celebration. As a career counselor and business etiquette trainer, I’ve been all about thank you notes!  My anniversary event and the next five yearly events were fundraisers for Literacy Pittsburgh, a natural tie to writing notes.

I enjoyed reliving this meaningful period this past Sunday as the featured speaker at Unity Center of Pittsburgh.  I invite you to take a moment right now to write a note (ok, or email or text) to someone you appreciate to celebrate this Saturday’s World Gratitude Day.  I also invite you to view my inspirational message of gratitude that begins at minute mark 34 on THIS LINK. You may also want to check out the beautiful rendition of the song Count Your Blessings by Irving Berlin from the movie White Christmas at minute mark 30.

If you would like more information about gratitude practices, the history of World Gratitude Day, and my story of the impact of writing a thank you note to my 9th grade teacher, CLICK HERE for my website about this. I still keep it kind of alive thinking maybe someday I’ll do another event….

I also invite you to consider a contribution to Literacy Pittsburgh in honor of World Gratitude Day and in appreciation of their important service.

Do check out my other gratitude blog article which is an excerpt from my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search.  Yes, one can find reasons to be grateful even during trying times!

I leave you with a favorite quote on gratitude:

When I received the article link to the Harvard Business Review article on bullying, it reminded me that I wanted to address this topic since I saw a fabulous presentation by Janet Glover-Kerkvliet at the Middle Atlantic Career Counseling Association through her role at the Workplace Bullying Institute. My notes are long since lost, but what I most remember and advise clients routinely is that the situation will most likely not change. The best recourse is to cut losses and start networking and looking for a new job. 

The Harvard Business Review article noted that 48.6 million Americans or about 30% of the workforce are being bullied at work.  Bullying has a significant impact not only psychologically, but physically, socially, economically and even organizationally, such as lost productivity, increased healthcare costs and turnover and replacement costs.

From the program and the Workplace Bullying Institute site, I’ve been most struck by:

Errors in Traditional Advice –

-Confronting the bully – It’s natural to think you should do this, but usually it doesn’t work and the bully has the power of surprise.

-Tell the bully’s boss – This person will not stop it because they likely know about the bully and condone or ignore the behavior, or they may be afraid of the bully.

-Tell Human Resources – HR is a management support function and not in a role to advocate. Even if a well-meaning HR person wanted to help, they usually do not have the clout to affect behavior, especially with higher-level managers.  The Workplace Bullying Institute advises to tell HR last.

How to Take Action –

-Don’t delay action from paralysis, shame, hoping the bully will stop, or waiting until an investigation by HR or a law firm is over which can take months. Cut losses and start the healing process.

-Recognize and name the bullying early.  Listen to your gut and perspectives of friends and family.

-Spend time quality time with people who can validate who you were before the bullying to help you counter shame.

-Find a mental health professional with expertise in trauma.

-Document specific situations, dates, places and who was present.  Ask colleagues “Did you hear that?”  Asking “Has it ever happened to you?” can help break the silence.

-Connect with an attorney to explore legal options.  This can be difficult in that bullying is not illegal, but sometimes is connected to discrimination issues.

-If you want to go public, do so with the highest ranking neutral upper-level manager.  Assemble cost data to show a business reason to address bullying.  Rehearse and focus on facts, not emotions.

-Be prepared to be fired for speaking out. Keep contacts and projects organized and accessible at home as permitted since terminations for employees are often immediate.

-Begin networking and looking for another job to be happier and healthier.

The Workplace Bullying Institute has a plethora or resources for organizations wishing to prevent and intervene with bullying behavior and training for professionals of all backgrounds including in the mental health, HR, legal, and education fields.

The Workplace Bullying Institute has a special comprehensive section called Help for Bullied People, with sections including:

  • Recognition
  • Workplace Bullying Defined
  • What Bullying Is Not
  • Why It Happens
  • Bullying Types and Tactics
  • Targets, the Best Among Us
  • About Your Perplexing Coworkers
  • Selecting a Therapist
  • Checking Legal Options
  • Living After Bullying

I hope these insights help many people whether you are being bullied, know a victim, or can help someone personally or professionally who is being bullied.

Since the message that most resonated is that the bully will not change, please know I am here to help with action steps of networking and looking for a new job.

I’m excited to offer this program at the Downtown and Business Branch at the Carnegie Library. Although oriented to business travel, the information is relevant to any international travel. Please pass the word, especially to people who work downtown.

You Did What? International Business Etiquette

Thursday, April 19, 2018

12:30-1:30 PM, Carnegie Library, 612 Smithfield Street, Pittsburgh 15222

Have you ever said or did something in another country and received a look that made it clear you made a mistake? How do you gracefully proceed and better yet avoid that situation in the first place? Etiquette cultural norms vary widely across countries and a business traveler needs to be savvy. Etiquette trainer, Karen Litzinger, will share insights into cultural differences in greetings, body language, corporate culture, business entertainment, dress and gifts.

When I went to my first college reunion last year and peered in the window of the Residence Life office, a poster caught my eye.  As a business etiquette speaker, I loved seeing the message of civility hanging prominently.  On and off during the year, I thought I’d love to get a copy of that poster.

This year when I was invited to a Residence Life reunion as part of Homecoming, I took the opportunity to ask about the poster.  Many thanks to Megan Julius for researching it and sending it to me with permission to share.

This inspired me to share about a new book published this year, Mastering Civility by management professor Christine Porath. She makes a case quoting research studies that the workplace would be more effective with more civility rather than the tough and aggressive corporate culture our society often supports.

Multiple research studies demonstrate how rudeness and bullying have a negative impact on performance. After being belittled as a group, participants in one experiment had 39% fewer creative ideas in brainstorming and did 33% worse on an annagram-type puzzle. Another experiment showed that even observing incivility decreased performance on two tests, 20% and 30%, compared to a control group.

An excellent summary of the book and great links to research is in the article How to Reduce Rudeness in the Workplace at Greater Good Magazine.

I hope the art and research inspire YOU.  Please pass them on.  Goodness knows we need civility more than ever!  Thank you Duquesne for getting the word out. Makes me proud!

Welcome to the first blog entry of my completely revised, spiffy website! Thank you for your interest in my take on career planning and business etiquette to help people be more confident and competent in this aspect of life. Besides practical tips and information, I also like to share stories that can educate and inspire. So I would like to share links to five of my favorite older newsletter posts that are important to me or don’t quite lend themselves to be rewritten, yet still could be useful.

Take Your Passion and Make it Happen

Thank You Notes: My Etiquette Take on a Post Office Sign

Student Loan Forgiveness

Is a Degree Worth It?

Perfection Reflection and Intuition Insights