Like in the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life,” we often don’t know the impact of our presence. This could be with work, family or friends. Sometimes it’s just small and special.

I missed seeing Christine’s smiling face at the Residence Inn this Thanksgiving morning.  She greeted us multiple times during our annual visit to State College relatives. The first year, she invited guests to write what they were grateful for on cut-outs of autumn leaves and vegetables and posted them in the eating area. I loved this! So much so that I took a photo.

Then she remembered us after that, bringing out the gratitude messages that she saved.

When I didn’t see Christine this Thanksgiving morning, I was going to dig out her photo and ask about her at the front desk. I was a bit worried. To my happy surprise, she was there on Friday morning and greeted me with a hug like family.  She had the holiday off. Good for her!

We reminisced a bit about the past gratitude project, then she disappeared into the kitchen for a bit while I talked to a longer-term resident she befriended.  Christine came back with a photo of the two of us on her phone and shared that the Thanksgiving gratitude messages were still hanging up back in the kitchen. How cool!

I asked how she was doing, and with a bright smile, she said “awesome.” I told her, of course, that is because her attitude is awesome.  Christine went on to say she loves her job, and meeting the people is what makes it special. That reminded me of why I love my work….as a career counselor I get to help others find something they might love…or at least like.

May this little holiday story remind us that we touch everyone we come into contact with. May we remember to share warmth and kindness with our presence and with our actions.  And may this positive energy help spread light during dark times.

“Each man’s life touches another.” It’s a Wonderful Life

I chose to celebrate my 65th birthday last month on a private retreat with my 23 year church group at the Benedictine Sisters of Erie Monastery. You may have heard of them in the news lately with the fraudulent claim that no one lives there. Besides such a meaningful retreat reflecting on my “next chapter,” I was heartened to learn of the beautiful leadership prayer by Sister Joan Chittister, which the sisters prayed together multiple times a day. Our country needs all the prayers and good wishes it can get. Among other things this week, I pray for peaceful and safe elections and more civility.

“Give us, O God, leaders whose hearts are large enough to match the breadth of our own souls and give us souls strong enough to follow leaders of vision and wisdom.”…

Sister Joan Chittister, Benedictine Sisters of Erie

CLICK HERE for the rest of the Prayer for Leadership

CLICK HERE for monastery response to voter fraud claim

CLICK HERE for video of conversation with Republican Liz Cheney and Sister Joan Chittister

(Click HERE for my post about World Gratitude Day.)

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~ Buddha

You may wonder, “How can I be thinking about gratitude when I’m in a cloud of career confusion or buried in rejections?” Gratitude is a coping tool during dark times, helping shift perspective. When we focus on lack, it creates negative energy that can paralyze our actions and repel people who may be able to help us.

Each day look for positive things: a beautiful sunset, a favorite food, an email from a friend, or a special moment with your child or pet. Maybe there are elements about your search process you can be grateful for, such as an email reply, a job prospect, or a networking meeting, even if only five minutes of it was helpful. Perhaps there is even something to be grateful for in the midst of the search itself, whether getting to spend more time with family due to a job loss or recognizing your courage to explore a new direction.

Consider starting a gratitude journal and writing down five short bullets about what you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. If you’re stuck, then write down that you have a bed to sleep in or a roof over your head. Think of one thing you are grateful for before getting out of bed, and that can change the course of your day.

Each day I notice things and people for whom I am grateful.

Copyright 2021, Karen Litzinger, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Permission is granted to share for non-commercial purposes with this entire notation, https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted

For 10 complimentary excerpts of the book arriving daily: https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts

You can order the book through either link above.

Who might you want to thank in your life? On the 10th Anniversary of my business in 2012 I hosted a Pittsburgh World Gratitude Day event.  I found out about the September 21 world holiday when looking up the term “Thank-You-Note-a-thon” which was my original idea for the celebration. As a career counselor and business etiquette trainer, I’ve been all about thank you notes!  My anniversary event and the next five yearly events were fundraisers for Literacy Pittsburgh, a natural tie to writing notes.

I enjoyed reliving this meaningful period this past Sunday as the featured speaker at Unity Center of Pittsburgh.  I invite you to take a moment right now to write a note (ok, or email or text) to someone you appreciate to celebrate this Saturday’s World Gratitude Day.  I also invite you to view my inspirational message of gratitude that begins at minute mark 34 on THIS LINK. You may also want to check out the beautiful rendition of the song Count Your Blessings by Irving Berlin from the movie White Christmas at minute mark 30.

If you would like more information about gratitude practices, the history of World Gratitude Day, and my story of the impact of writing a thank you note to my 9th grade teacher, CLICK HERE for my website about this. I still keep it kind of alive thinking maybe someday I’ll do another event….

I also invite you to consider a contribution to Literacy Pittsburgh in honor of World Gratitude Day and in appreciation of their important service.

Do check out my other gratitude blog article which is an excerpt from my book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search.  Yes, one can find reasons to be grateful even during trying times!

I leave you with a favorite quote on gratitude:

I was honored to be invited to write the Focus article on emotional intelligence for the National Career Development Association Quarterly, Summer 2024 issue. Although the audience is career professionals, the material and exercises are relevant to anyone. With addressing career-decision-making, job search, and career management, the information is applicable for a lifetime. The article is four pages, so I highly recommend clicking the PDF folder below, to make it an enjoyable read because of the amazing graphics. In case you can’t access it, the text version is below too.

The article, Three Career Lenses: Applying Emotional Intelligence Throughout Career Planning, by Karen Litzinger, originally appeared in NCDA’s magazine, Career Developments, at www.ncda.org. Copyright August 2024. Reprinted with permission.

Three Career Lenses: Applying Emotional Intelligence Throughout Career Planning

By Karen Litzinger

We all likely know someone intellectually bright who struggles with career success and satisfaction. Others may not have the same grades or credentials yet seem to flourish. The secret sauce in a happy recipe for life and work may be high emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman’s ground-breaking work in his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ remains a cornerstone in the field. Often referred to as EI or EQ, emotional intelligence is both understanding and managing one’s own emotions as well as recognizing and understanding others’ emotions. Goleman posits that EI may be even more important than cognitive intelligence (IQ) in predicting positive life outcomes.

The Five Key Components of Emotional Intelligence (Goleman, 1995):

  1. Self-Awareness – Recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions, including the impact on thoughts and behaviors.
  2. Self-Regulation – Managing and controlling one’s emotions, impulses, and behavior in different situations.
  3. Motivation – Focusing/directing emotions to achieve goals, persisting when encountering challenges, and maintaining a positive outlook.
  4. Empathy – Understanding the feelings and perspectives of others to enhance interpersonal relationships.
  5. Social Skills – Managing relationships effectively, including clear communication, effective teamwork, and conflict resolution.

We often think of EQ as related to dealing with “office politics” or career management. Yet EQ plays a role in how a student makes and pursues education and career choices. How a job seeker deals with the emotions of job loss or application rejection could determine self-sabotage or success.

This article looks at Goleman’s (1996) five components of emotional intelligence through three lenses: Career Decision-Making, Job Searching, and Career Management. Action strategies to enhance our efforts as counselors and coaches are offered for each of the five components. The framework can be used to identify possibilities for a holistic approach.

Career Decision-Making

  • Self-awareness: Help constituents explore interests, skills, values, and personality in career choice and understand decision-making styles. Explore the impact of career beliefs, family and societal pressures, and emotional and physical challenges. Ask about body sensations which can lead to identifying emotions and preferences.
  • Self-regulation: Encourage well-informed decisions rather than impulsive choices that might be rooted in the emotional urgency to decide or based on narrow perspectives, such as the latest “hot” careers. Engage in career conversations with loved ones that are calm and rooted in information rather than excessive emotion or argumentation.
  • Motivation: Listen to what is presented and offer tailored help to give hope. Present concepts and activities in manageable chunks so as not to overwhelm. Share that many career and educational paths are good choices, and there is no one “right” decision. Give positive feedback when career exercises are completed. Review progress and where the process is heading to show the big picture. 
  • Empathy: Guide constituents to see that their loved ones’ ideas or pressures may be rooted in concern about well-being or financial security.  Recognizing that we all have different values at different stages can help a person see things from others’ perspectives. When not hearing back from a contact for an informational interview, provide a reminder about how much email everyone receives.
  • Social Skills: Role-play how to communicate about career decision-making with loved ones in ways that enlist support rather than conflict. Educate about informational interviews, including introducing oneself, identifying questions to ask, and having a thank you protocol.  Encourage patience in hearing back from requests in this age of quick turnaround expectations.

Job Searching

  • Self-awareness: Normalize negative emotions regarding loss or rejection and help clients understand the importance of processing. Share that the emotional roller coaster of emotions, including shaken confidence, is common. Take time at the beginning of meetings to ask how the person is doing rather than rushing to job search advising, as unexpressed emotions may block progress.
  • Self-regulation: Discuss how frustration may come across in networking or job interviews in terms of words, tone, and nonverbal behavior. Coach and role play about how to avoid talking negatively about a past employer or situation or doing so in a brief, positive, and productive manner. Provide resources for stress management, counseling, or therapist referrals based on scope of practice.
  • Motivation: Provide stories of hope to counter pessimism and inaction.  Encourage looking at others’ success as potential for their own rather than through a lens of envy. Remind clients that it only takes one offer to reach success. Share stories of famous people who were rejected many times before success, such as Walt Disney, Stephen Spielberg, and J.K Rowling.
  • Empathy: When not hearing back from networking contacts or recruiters, remind your clients that it could be because they are busy or experiencing their own challenges. If a job seeker is envious of another’s success, ask if they really know what efforts or challenges that person went through in obtaining it.
  • Social skills: Teach and role-play interviewing and networking skills. Communicate that small talk is part of relationship building at the beginning of interviews and in networking settings. Review job search correspondence, including thank you messages. Frame negotiations as requests rather than demands. Remind clients that hiring decisions are about how a candidate fits into a team as much as about job-related skills.

Career Management

  • Self-awareness: Help clients direct their career path based on self-awareness and preferences rather than being pulled into roles by employer needs. This may include being aware of strengths that are not interests.  Explore assessments and 360 feedback to learn of strengths and areas for growth.
  • Self-regulation: Share tips like pausing before speaking, waiting 30 minutes before sending a sensitive email, and asking a trusted individual to review emails. Encourage finding a therapist or counselor, or trusted friend to discuss work issues with rather than colleagues.
  • Motivation: If disengaged, raise questions about whether the field, industry, or employer is a good fit and whether exploration of options may be helpful. If one’s career is not progressing, encourage trying new angles rather than focusing energy on what didn’t work in the past. Remind the person to do one’s best despite burnout or while job searching so as to leave on good terms with positive references.
  • Empathy: Help clients understand that colleagues may not be supporting their ideas or speaking up on bullying actions due to their own fears. Raise awareness that a supervisor may be experiencing conflicts between supporting staff and meeting the demands of superiors. Model fostering respect for others’ points of view and ideas.
  • Social skills: Educate about the importance of relationship building along with completing work tasks and demonstrating competence. Offer to review emails and role-play difficult conversations. Encourage participation in social events of the organization and profession.

Name, Tame, and Reframe

Understanding the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can be a tool for emotional intelligence in career planning, especially related to the components of self-awareness, self-regulation, and motivation. Cognitive psychology is rooted in how distorted thoughts can lead to distressing emotions and maladaptive behavior (Beck, 1961) and was the precursor to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). The process of reframing negative thinking can be used by career practitioners at all levels.

Cognitive behavior model illustration – An activity to encourage client emotional intelligence:

Thoughts → Emotions → Behaviors

Name – Ask what barriers, concerns, or negative thoughts are at hand. Share any that have been observed or discussed. Encourage writing down the negative self-talk sentence. Inquire about what feelings result from saying that statement and what behavior might result from that feeling. If the individual is drawing a blank, share a few ideas and ask if these fit or if other ideas come to mind. Inviting the person to write down and/or sketch out the resulting feeling and behavior with connecting arrows further illustrates the concept.

Tame – The precursor to the Cognitive Behavior Therapy model, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, suggested disputing irrational beliefs to replace them with more adaptive beliefs (Ellis, 1962). This questioning and providing alternative evidence can diffuse or “tame” negative emotions that result from the original unhelpful belief.

Reframe – Ask what would be a more helpful sentence or belief to say to oneself rather than the original statement – not a Pollyanna affirmation like, “I trust the right path will come to me,” but something that is believable and makes them feel a bit better. Give examples if needed. Invite writing down the new reframed statement. Ask about resulting feelings and likely behaviors, inviting recording the new results.

Alternatively Lead with Emotions: Another angle for reframing could be first identifying the distressing feelings and then the possible unhelpful thoughts that preceded or followed the emotions. With that information, reframing thoughts can lead to more helpful emotions and behavior outcomes.  

Career Decision-Making Example

Name: My parents (or partner) will never let me do this career. → fear → not exploring it/arguing.

Tame: How will you know unless you ask? What if I helped you find a way to explain how thought out your choice is and how to remain calm?

Reframe: Maybe I could explain it with a new angle and your help. → hope, willingness → strategizing, asking.

Job Searching Example

Name: No one is going to hire me because of my age (or my degree or my lack of experience, etc.). → depressed, anxious → procrastinating, giving up.

Tame: How will you know unless you try? Remember, it only takes one offer.  Maybe someone will see your age as an asset because of wisdom or dependability. What if you take a course that shows your willingness and ability to learn new things?

Reframe: Even though there may be age discrimination, I can emphasize the positive aspects of my wisdom, reliability and recent learning, and then remind myself that I just need one offer. → more hopeful → willing to take action of applying or taking relevant workshops.

Career Management Example:

Name: I’m never going to get a promotion even though I’m such a hard worker. → frustration, anger → complaining, outbursts.

Tame: Hard work doesn’t automatically translate to a promotion. Have you asked for advice or feedback from others at your organization?  Are there courses for hard or soft skills that might be helpful?  A job change to another employer might be the necessary path.

Reframe: I’ll seek more advice and try one or two new angles and then probably look for a job at another company. → calmer, accepting → planning and productive action.

Stress Management: Coping, Band-aid, or More?

The EQ component of self-regulation naturally ties to techniques for stress management. It is better to punch a pillow than yell at an employer, right? These techniques may just be helpful coping band-aids to career challenges if not accompanied by self-awareness, empathy, and social skills. Beyond coping, these strategies may positively impact emotions and behavior. 

Certain behaviors are known to release endorphins, often referred to as a “feel good hormone” and can come from these activities (Harvard Health Publishing, 2021):

  • Exercise: Walking fast or other aerobic activities are most helpful for endorphin release, but any level of movement may help with stress management.
  • Meditation: This technique of deep breathing and focusing one’s mind is the most researched, yet other breathing or mindfulness techniques can help with stress management.
  • Music: All forms are helpful, including listening, singing, dancing, or playing an instrument.
  • Laughter: A good belly laugh can reduce stress and could come from watching a comedy movie or viewing humorous video clips.
  • Ultraviolet light: A walk on a sunny day releases endorphins and doing so in nature may increase the enjoyment.

Individuals in all stages of career development can benefit from stress management help for emotional regulation. A career professional can take an active role in helping clients by sharing a resource link, suggesting a technique, conducting a workshop, providing counseling, or referring to a therapist based on your scope of practice.

Moving Forward

Building emotional intelligence doesn’t have to feel like an extra task, rather it can be integrated into existing career planning activities. High EQ helps create success in both career and life. Many career practitioners likely already use EQ strategies and don’t realize it. Now appreciate the impact and importance!

Author:

Karen Litzinger ([email protected]) is the author of the award-winning book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Coping with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Karen spent over a decade in college career services and the last twenty years in private practice through Litzinger Career Consulting based in Pittsburgh, PA. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Counselor, and Certified Career Counselor. Karen achieved professional-level status through the National Speakers Association and presents programs nationally and through video. For additional information about Karen and her book: KarensCareerCoaching.com.    

                                                    

“You may have to fight a battle more than 

once to win it.” 

Margaret Thatcher

You might sometimes wonder if you’re going to “bounce back” from your job loss, or perhaps you are struggling to regain your confidence from a dysfunctional work environment. 

Resilience is a process of being able to adapt and move forward in the face of adversity or trauma. One still feels the emotion and distress yet brings forth thoughts and actions to cope. 

Anyone can learn to develop resilience, though some may have more at hand based on circumstances and tendencies. A key strategy for resilience is creating a support system and accepting help, even simply a listening ear. Another angle is to focus on the situation as temporary, or even as an opportunity; you can’t change the reality, but you can shift how you interpret it. Brainstorm what you can do or say to help you feel a bit better. Take action rather than wishing that the pain will go away. 

Affirmation: I acknowledge the pain and do something positive to cope.  

Copyright 2021, Karen Litzinger, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Permission is granted to share for non-commercial purposes with this entire notation, https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted

For 10 complimentary excerpts of the book arriving daily: https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts

You can order the book through either link above.

My Linden tree did not turn out as I hoped. Perhaps that’s what you may be feeling about your career or your life. At times I lament making the “wrong choice.” Then I’m reminded that I’m always sharing with clients there is no one “right choice”. My Linden tree also gave me some happy surprises, like my somewhat annual Linden Tree Party.

Before I share the life lessons, first a bit of back story. Through the entire summer of 1981 I was intoxicated by the sweet fragrance of trees in the West Quad courtyard at the University of Michigan where I did an internship. The fragrance would haunt me on the streets of Pittsburgh. I wanted one of those trees!  Although I bought my house in 1992, it wasn’t until 2003 that I got serious about identifying the mystery tree. In the gift buying process, my sweetheart said the nursery needed to know if I wanted the more fragrant variety or the hardy.  Since I felt a decade late in planting, I chose hardy. It turns out this variety has amazingly fragrant blooms…but just 7-10 days a summer. It  usually blooms the week of my almost annual arts conference vacation away!

Lesson # 1 – Acceptance: I’ve learned (mostly) to accept my tree for what she is as well as accept my own decision.  I try not to judge myself for making a so-called “wrong” choice and for not doing even more research. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know.  Maybe you have experienced negative surprises in a job or career, even after much research and networking.

Lesson #2 – Appreciation: Since my tree just blooms 7-10 days, I’m in heightened gratitude when I’m around.  I spend every minute I can outside under the canopy.  I fill vases as big as my dining room table. When I’m traveling out of town, I take branches of fragrant blooms in the car with me.  I remind myself of the positive aspects to counter other things (including, by the way, that it is a messy, branch and bug-dropping tree). There are naturally plusses and minuses of jobs, careers, relationships. What can you remind yourself to appreciate right now?

Lesson #3 – Creativity: At some point I was inspired to celebrate my Linden’s burst of blooms by inviting my church friend group over. The now beloved Linden Tree Party includes poems, singing, drumming and hands on blessing of the tree, and sometimes an occasional tree hug.  Turning lemons into lemonade!

Lesson #4: Support and Perspective: My friends so love my tree that they help me appreciate it as I still occasionally recount the story as a mistake.  I expect they might not like the “lemons” reference! One friend created a Meaning of Trees booklet in honor of my Linden for a birthday gift. I learned symbolic and cultural insights about my tree including: it represents healing and peace; it was the location of village local courts of law; and it was the hub of festivities with dance platforms constructed inside of massive Lindens in Germany. As a Libra who loves harmony and has a dance room, I learned more reasons to appreciate that this is quite the perfect tree for me.  Who in your life might help you see situations in a different way, teach you new things, or help you understand or cope with a current circumstance?

May you find appreciation for whatever is in your life at the moment.  May you make the changes needed for greater happiness, whether a change of perspective or actual situation. And, of course, if you or someone you know is considering a career or job change, I’d be happy to help.

How did an Italian guitarist from Genoa come to be invited to play bluegrass at a Czechoslovakian folk festival?  I wondered this as I enjoyed the diverse and captivating music of Beppe Gambetta at a house concert recently. As his music and story unfolded, I understood: Passion and Perseverance. 

He read a story from his pandemic memoir that he kept trying to break in by calling the United States from pay phones constantly, as he said, like a religious group is known to keep knocking on doors. He was spending $10.00 a minute until a US medical student gave him a tip to hack the pay phones.  When I bought his book, he shared that his passion for acoustic flat-picking was sparked when he was 17 and heard eventual multi-Grammy winner Doc Watson on the radio. I read later that after many gigs, it was in his late twenties that he set his goal of becoming a professional musician.

What might you have a passion to do that you have been putting off from fear or lack of discipline.  Or perhaps you’ve not committed yet wholeheartedly. Or are you getting discouraged from lack of success or others lack of support?

Below is some inspiration about perseverance from an excerpt of the dedication of Beppe’s book, Declarations of Love; Unexpected encounters, passions, music and recipes to reunite us:

“This book is dedicated to those who have supported me over the years and, paradoxically, also to those who did not believe in me and thus gave me the stubbornness and dedication which has led me on a journey searching for and discovering new outlets for my art.”

Beppe Gambetta

It’s ok to not have a passion and maybe just admire and support folks who do, whether they are artists, entrepreneurs or adventurers….or all three.  I did by purchasing Beppe’s book.

For more information on this international acoustic guitarist who blends Italian folk music, bluegrass, and jazz: https://beppegambetta.com/

The following is an excerpt from my multi-award winning book, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. For more information and to order: https://karenscareercoaching.com/help-wanted/ For 10 complimentary excerpts that you are free to share: https://karenscareercoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts/

“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.”

Julie Andrews

It can be hard to keep going when you’ve submitted endless applications and had dozens of networking meetings, with no final success. Sometimes we do need to regroup and evaluate what we can do differently.

To get to that one offer, you may simply need to send out one more application or make one more call. Remind yourself that people do get jobs, even those with barriers to employment. Seek out people and stories that give you hope and energy to persist. Grit is a trait attributed to success.

Many inventors, writers, and dreamers were rejected or failed dozens or hundreds of times before getting their “yes.” Among them are Walt Disney, Steven Spielberg, Dr. Suess, and J.K. Rowling. You are in good company. Keep at it. Try a new angle. Look for a good fit. Employers are looking to fill jobs. It only takes one. Then help someone else.

Affirmation: I persist with grit and rise to the occasion.

C 2022, Pittsburgh, PA. Karen Litzinger. Permission granted to share with this complete notation. For information about Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search and about Karen’s career coaching and speaking: www.KarensCareerCoaching.com

With all that is going on in the world, it is hard sometimes to allow joy.  Feeling joy in dark times can feel selfish or bring guilt.  Feeling joy while in the job search can seem unrealistic.  Yet joy is helpful for a full and healthy life.

Joy is one of the topics in my book Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search.  Upon rereading, I see that everything except the first sentence of that page is related broadly to life, not just the search.  This brief inspirational reading is the previous blog on this site, and I hope you will read and share.

Joy is my “Word of the Year.”  I chose it because I tend to focus more on work than play, doing rather than being.  During a spiritual Akashic records reading, I was encouraged to add more joy to my life.  What would that be, I wondered?  I love my work, but not sure I would say it brings me “joy”. I like to walk my dog in the park, but part of that is for the good health of both of us.  I feel joy when dancing a couple times a year at the Baja Grill, but my morning dance is more about keeping my spirit and body healthy.

“Joy is an intermezzo of gratitude that interrupts the routine motion of life.”

— Lewis B. Smedes in How Can It Be All Right When Everything Is All Wrong?

Some views are that joy simply springs forth in an unexpected way.  My focus is on noticing and creating joy each day. I wondered if I could do that. I think we can. My belief is that gratitude and mindfulness are the sparks of joy.  Each morning I say my new Joy affirmations which include: “I experience joy by noticing and choosing it.” In the mirror behind me I glimpse my white twinkle lights and say, “those bring me joy.”  In terms of creating joy, I set a goal this year of going to more comedy shows and nights out dancing, specifically 8 (for the year number, 2+0+2+4). One down and two scheduled!

My other affirmation is “I spread joy.”  Besides my goal of spreading joy by acts or words of kindness, I believe that my feeling joy will have a positive affect on people around me and even the planet.

What joy might you notice today, right now?  Look around you.  The sunshine, an interesting cloud formation, a favorite picture, a soft blanket, your loved ones?  What joy can you create for yourself today or this week?  What joy can you spread?

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”

Henri Nouwen

It may be hard to find joy in the job search or even see joy on the horizon in a new job. Yet each day we have a choice about how to see our life. We can be consumed by the negativity of job search fear or frustration, or we can allow some space to notice a sunset or a child’s laughter. Brief moments of joy can be a respite from the work of finding work. Perhaps we can even stretch to find some joy by answering yes to a networking request or a nugget of wisdom someone shares.

We can, and sometimes must, create our own joy for the sake of our emotional health and for the well-being of those around us whose support we want and need. Experiencing moments of joy can also help a person to be a more desirable job candidate since employers may sense positivity.

So turn on a comedy, gaze at the clouds, listen to music, and hug a child.

Affirmation: I find moments of joy in my life and am grateful.

To order Help Wanted book: https://karenscareercoaching.com/help-wanted/

For 10 free excerpts: https://karenscareercoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts/

As soon as I saw the ornament in the gift shop, I knew I had to buy it. I hoped my 11 year old great niece would humor her 4 year old sister about Santa, and didn’t know where my 8 year old great niece would land.  This Kindness Ornament features daily video messages from a quite believable “Santa” via QR code inviting the listeners to do acts of kindness: give someone a hug, write someone a nice note.  I was totally enthralled when I scanned the QR code on the package and heard Santa explaining about the delightful ornament.  It felt like Christmas magic! It doesn’t matter the age.

Before I share this charming link, my disclaimer is that I don’t get any kickbacks from Santa or the ornament company.  Plus, it’s too late for this year anyhow, purposely.  BUT it’s not too late to be enchanted in the next few days by the same message from Santa that I heard if you CLICK HERE.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hannukah or Diwali, we can all use some Light and Kindness.  Certainly, the world needs it now.  When we feel helpless in the darkness, at least we can share our own Light through small acts of Kindness.  What might your inner Santa be calling on YOU to do today?

As if I wasn’t already enamored by this topic, here’s a picture of what was in the restroom of the restaurant where I had dinner with my granddaughter this week:

Thank you for your kindness in taking time to read my reflections.  Warm wishes to you for the holiday season to treat yourself and others with kindness now and in the coming year.

I’ve been reflecting this month on my trip to India in 2015 and some of the common career issues that came up when visiting the school my church has been sponsoring since 2003. After conversations about this, the principal invited me to speak with the 9th and 10th grade students, which was a fun surprise and challenge. Yep, that’s my photo of them.  It all reminds me that as different as groups may be with language and culture, we have quite a bit in common….something helpful for us to remember about humanity.

One shared pattern was the influence and wishes of parents on their children’s education and future.  I certainly hear this with at least half of my career counseling clients.  In India I learned of two divergent parental influences.  In this poor, rural farming village, I learned many parents were discouraging their sons from finishing higher grades since they were needed on the farm.  On the other end of the spectrum, I met a mother who said she would go without food to pay for school expenses.  This mother was so proud of how many of her children later became teachers!

Another common thread was about whether school seems relevant to the tasks of actually earning a living.  I remembered hearing frequently from engineering students at Carnegie Mellon who thought many of their courses would not be used and were simply hoops to go through.  In the case of the India farming community, I was coached to share with students that a good education would enable them to write farming grants and that math would be needed to make calculations for crop planting calculations and efficiency.

A third common thread was the idea of nepotism and networking.  I recall hearing that in India, it very difficult to get a job in the government unless you are related to someone.  Here in the United States, I naturally encourage networking as a job search strategy with a 50-80% success rate. Networking is simply a foot in the door to get an interview. Hopefully in both countries, the employer wants to hire someone who can actually do the job well.

The reason I have been reflecting on my India experience is that I spent the last three months helping launch a crowdsource funding campaign for a rainwater harvesting facility for the school so students can have water with every meal.  I hope you will take a moment to read the article that follows this.

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In celebration of my birthday today and the two-year anniversary of my book launch, I am giving away 10 brief, inspirational readings, one each day, delivered conveniently to your mailbox.  This is a gift that I invite you to share with others. The topics include Resilience, Gratitude, Kindness and more.  Many people have said that most of each reading deals with coping with the ups and downs of life, not just the job search.  So, feel free to share with anyone who could use some inspiration. Just click HERE for a super easy sign-up.  You will only get the readings and nothing else; you can rest assured the same if you gift the readings to someone else by entering their email.

If you would like a preview, click HERE for a couple sample readings (then scroll down).

The gift readings will be sent the day after initiating. I hope you will do so today, for yourself and a friend! This would be my best birthday present ever this year!

May this gift keep on giving!

As summer sets, I’ve been reflecting on seasons. Just yesterday, my daily meditation teacher shared the reflection below by Wu Men Hui K’ai related to seasons.

What season is your life in? Your career? Your learning? Your family life?  Your volunteering? Your retirement? Are you in the new beginnings of spring whether actually in early stages of choosing or doing something or maybe planting seeds for the future?  Perhaps you may be in the bloom of summer experiencing the fullness of something whether good or bad, soaking in what is like we soak up the sunshine.  An autumn stage may symbolize harvest for your efforts, a sense of reward and completion after which may follow some letting go.  Perhaps you are in a winter stage of dormancy, reflection, maybe darkness, wondering what might bloom again. These are natural seasons of life, of careers, of individual experiences.

This year I’ve been in mostly an autumn season of letting go, most recently passing on the torch of my neighborhood blockwatch that I created and facilitated for twenty years. Recently I received an insight message that I’m beginning a new chapter. Related to that I’m also in that winter phase of reflection.  Retirement is also a bit on my mind, though I think it will be a gradual process that will include new springtime beginnings.

The end of summer also reminds me of the school season of new beginnings.  After enjoying the summer, September is often the time to gear up and start new endeavors.  September also hosts Labor Day, a symbolic end of summer and reminder of work.  If you or someone you know has been thinking about new beginnings in education or work, I would be happy to help them explore a new season.