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Gratitude – Book Excerpt

(Click HERE for my post about World Gratitude Day.)

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~ Buddha

You may wonder, “How can I be thinking about gratitude when I’m in a cloud of career confusion or buried in rejections?” Gratitude is a coping tool during dark times, helping shift perspective. When we focus on lack, it creates negative energy that can paralyze our actions and repel people who may be able to help us.

Each day look for positive things: a beautiful sunset, a favorite food, an email from a friend, or a special moment with your child or pet. Maybe there are elements about your search process you can be grateful for, such as an email reply, a job prospect, or a networking meeting, even if only five minutes of it was helpful. Perhaps there is even something to be grateful for in the midst of the search itself, whether getting to spend more time with family due to a job loss or recognizing your courage to explore a new direction.

Consider starting a gratitude journal and writing down five short bullets about what you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. If you’re stuck, then write down that you have a bed to sleep in or a roof over your head. Think of one thing you are grateful for before getting out of bed, and that can change the course of your day.

Each day I notice things and people for whom I am grateful.

Copyright 2021, Karen Litzinger, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Permission is granted to share for non-commercial purposes with this entire notation, https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted

For 10 complimentary excerpts of the book arriving daily: https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts

You can order the book through either link above.

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Outplacement/Job Search Part 2 – Taking Care of Business: First Steps After Job Loss

  • Clarify goals – Although you may have an urge to get your resume out right away, take a little time to process your job loss and decide what you really want for your next steps.
  • Wait before networking – You may also feel an urgency to ask everyone you know if they know of any jobs.  If you take a little time to absorb the loss and clarify your goals, your contact will be better able to help you and you will come across clearer and more positive.
  • Tell a trusted few first – Don’t keep this from important people in your life.  Procrastinating on sharing the news will only be harder on you.  Plus you could use the support right now!  You also don’t want to indiscriminately tell everyone you see since your feelings may be too raw or you may not have a comfortable way of explaining the job loss figured out yet.
  • Apply for Unemployment Compensation – You have been contributing to this system, and this is what it is there for.  Apply on the first day after your last day of working.
  • Apply for COBRA or other health insurance – Be sure to take care of yourself and your family if you have one.
  • Review finances – This might include reviewing your retirement plan or making a budget once you know your severance package and unemployment compensation.  It might be anxiety-producing to deal with the topic of money at this point, but it is better to know where you stand than not know.  You may even be able to plan for taking some time off for retraining, healing, or figuring out career goals.
  • Organize a personal office space – Create a space in your home for your career transition paperwork and activities.  You may want to reorganize the existing desk space, set up filing bins or purchase a computer.
  • Keep a calendar – Although you will have a huge change in routine, you will still be having activities to keep track of.  Initially it may be more personal, but eventually you will be keeping track of networking appointments and interviews or setting goals on your calendar.
  • Stay connected with friends and colleagues – Eventually you will want to tell most friends, family and colleagues so you can get support and perhaps networking contacts.  Be sure not to isolate yourself.

Don’t wait too long – Taking a few days or weeks off after termination can be a reasonable choice if your circumstances allow for it, but waiting too long can increase

© 2008-2020, Karen Litzinger, Pittsburgh PA. Section from outplacement services Career Transition Workbook. All rights reserved. Permission given to reprint or share only in its entirety with this complete by-line and contact information: Litzinger Career Consulting, www.KarensCareerCoaching.com, [email protected], 412-977-4029. For alternative use permission, please contact the author.

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Outplacement/Job Search Part 1 – Managing the Transition: The Emotions of Job Loss

Whether you knew the termination was coming or were caught completely by surprise, there are a wide range of emotions you may feel.  Some people feel strong anxiety and anger about the termination or how it was handled.  Others may feel a sense of relief, either because it was not a good job fit anyhow or because the process leading up to the termination dragged on.

There is no right or wrong way to feel, but understanding and expressing your emotions in a healthy manner is necessary in helping you move forward.  Whether you are devastated or see it as an opportunity for new beginnings, it is still a job loss.  Even losing your daily routine or a family of coworkers are parts of the loss.  In our culture, people are often identified with career roles.  Upon meeting someone new, aren’t you often asked “What do you do?”  Not knowing what to say is part of the loss.

There are various theories of loss, but most originate from the work of psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, and her book, On Death and Dying.  Although the original work focused on stages of loss, it is more helpful to look at these as possible areas of emotions that you may move back and forth through.  Here are some brief descriptions to help you understand and cope with these emotions.

  • Shock – You may have felt this as you were being told the news.  This can include the feeling of being numb and not even completely hearing or comprehending the conversation.
  • Denial – This includes being unsure that you understood the termination completely, or doing activities that include anything but moving forward on one’s job search.
  • Bargaining – This stage can include conversations or an expectation related to your employer changing its mind or calling you back in a different capacity.
  • Anger – This can be about the fact of losing your job or how it was handled.  Your angry feelings may be toward the company or toward specific individuals at the company.  You may even feel anger toward yourself in not anticipating the termination or being more prepared for a job move.  Find safe ways to express your anger, such as physical exercise or keeping a journal.
  • Anxiety – This is a common emotion associated with concern of financially being able to provide for oneself or one’s family.  You may also have anxiety about being able to actually find another job.  Taking action is important at this stage, so you don’t become paralyzed with fear.
  • Depression – This can occur when the full realization of the loss has set in.  Although it is common to have the “blues” sometime after a job loss, if there is chronic or recurrent low energy, loss of appetite or overeating, or disturbed sleep, this level of depression could indicate a need for professional treatment. Taking care of oneself is essential in this stage.
  • Testing – This involves trying out options or actions whether exploring a new career field or moving forward on the job search.
  • Acceptance – This is the point at which one finds a way to move forward, focusing on the future and not the past, ideally with a sense of hope.

© 2008-2020, Karen Litzinger, Pittsburgh PA. Section from outplacement services Career Transition Workbook. All rights reserved. Permission given to reprint or share only in its entirety with this complete by-line and contact information: Litzinger Career Consulting, www.KarensCareerCoaching.com, [email protected], 412-977-4029. For alternative use permission, please contact the author.

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Forgiveness is for You!

Is there a co-worker or client who treated you poorly? Or a supervisor who passed you over for a promotion?  Or perhaps you were terminated from your job and still feeling resentment or anger? Whether in work or personal life, the act of forgiveness is for you, to set you free of resentment and bondage. Not forgiving someone or an institution gives them power over you. It can affect you emotionally, mentally and physically.  In the job search, the emotions of resentment or victimhood can seep out, including during networking attempts.  On your job, the negative emotions may contaminate the good work you do and impact your progress as well as your happiness.

Forgiving isn’t excusing poor behavior or seeing it as acceptable. Ask yourself if reliving or holding on to the past is helpful to you.  You can choose to forgive someone directly or within your heart.

If you feel a barrier to forgiveness, consider this alternative affirmation (by Anthony Diaz from the December 2018 Guide for Spiritual Living) to release your pain and open space for more positive things in your life:

“I release and move through this experience and the power it has over me easily and effortlessly. I let go of any pain or hurt I felt, knowing it no longer serves me or my life. I am open to those experiences that serve and support me on my journey.”

May this season of Light bring you insight to forgive and begin the year with more Lightness.

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