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What Brings You Joy? Balance? Hafiz Poem

Thanksgiving weekend got me thinking about the balance of joys and sorrows that we experience. It is a great joy to take my sister-in-law annually to State College, PA for a Thanksgiving visit with her son (my nephew) and family. This year they decorated for Christmas early, and I was captivated by the dozens of holiday photos of their two children. It brought me such joy, I took photos of them hoping I’d be inspired to share in a newsletter blog. The theme of joy is also on my mind as I prepare a Unity Center church talk for this Sunday on joy in recognition of December 7 National Joy Day. Make it a point to treat yourself to joy and spread joy!

Yet life is full of contrasts, and sorrow is a reality. Another Thanksgiving tradition of mine is to acknowledge the realities of our complex history with the Indigenous people of this land. Usually I do so with a monetary contribution and lately also with a resolve to learn more about our shared history. 

This year, I watched the stunning 2024 National Geographic award-winning documentary, Sugarcane. It illuminates a community breaking cycles of generational trauma during an investigation into abuse and missing children at a nearby Indian Residential School run by the Catholic church. Although set in Canada, there have been 526 of these boarding schools identified in the United States established by the government and Christian churches in the 18th and 19th centuries. The history and purpose was to wipe out Indigenous culture and assimilate children into the dominate white culture, dramatically noted by Richard Henry Pratt founder of the Carlisle (PA) Indian Industrial School: “Kill the Indian in him and save the man.”

So you are not left in darkness, I offer some balance through one of my favorite poems by 14th century Persian poet Hafiz that encourages joy despite sorrow.

The Sacred Dance for Life by Hafiz

I sometimes forget that

I was created for joy

My mind is too busy

My heart is too heavy

Heavy for me to remember

that I have been

called to dance

the sacred dance for life

I was created to smile

to love

to be lifted up

and lift others up

O sacred one

Untangle my feet

from all that ensnares

Free my soul

That we might

Dance

and that our dancing

might be contagious.

Reflection: How might you lift others up in your career and in your life?

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Navigating the Cycles of Life: Endings and Beginnings

This autumn has caused me to reflect about the natural cycle of endings and beginnings. Around the time a close friend died, my neighbor had her baby and I attended my granddaughter‘s baby shower. What endings and beginnings are you experiencing? What are those that simply happened and those that you can or did create?

Perhaps you or someone you know are contemplating whether to end a job and look for a new one? Perhaps you’re contemplating retirement? Or thinking about what activities to bring into your life for more meaning? Decisions and new beginnings involve risk. It’s often easier to stay with what’s comfortable even if it’s not satisfying. Yet life is short. Time ticks away.

As we move into a season of gratitude and winter celebrations, appreciate what you have and look toward greater joy.

I’m happy to help as needed with career counseling. And no matter what your stage or age, poet Mary Oliver offers this reflective challenge:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

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What’s Your Decision-Making Style? A Quiz of Sorts.

As I am in the midst of a very long-overdue bathroom renovation with dozens of decisions, I have renewed empathy for my career counseling clients.  It doesn’t help that I’m a Libra; we are known for indecision. This has been an agonizing process for me.  After narrowing down paint choices and going in for three samples, I came back with a dozen more paint chips. How could this happen?  Whether you are weighing a job or career decision, or some other life decision, now or later, I thought you might enjoy a little insight into your own style. Of course, your style can vary and be a combination, but likely you lean toward one.

As an indecisive person, I thought it would be a win-win to research and present a program on the topic at my professional association.  (Note: I’m much better at helping others with their decisions than making my own, so please do keep those referrals coming!) I’m going to share a bit from the handout I had created for distribution, and happy to send you the whole resource sheet upon request which also includes the “Help” sections. Right, that’s an important part, but the article would have been just tooooo looong!

The following five decision-making styles were identified by Susanne G. Scott and Reginald A. Bruce. Their work is known as the General Decision-Making Style model (CDMS) which includes a related inventory. Although it may appear that some styles are more positive than others, individuals could have positive outcomes regardless of the style.  Typically career decisions are most grounded and less risky if they involve a balance of factual information and gut feelings.

Rational: Prefer to gather and analyze information systematically. Make logical and objective choices based on careful review of available information.

  • Potential Problem: Analysis Paralysis “I need more career information.”  “I’m overwhelmed by the information.”

Intuitive: Prefer to rely on gut feelings and instincts. Make choices based on a quick, less structured assessment of the situation.

  • Potential Problem: Not grounded in information. “I thought this was what I wanted, then I learned this.” “The career wasn’t what I expected.”

Dependent: Tend to seek input and guidance from others. They may feel more comfortable relying on external support and opinions.

  • Potential Problem: Pleasing others rather than self. “My professor/supervisor thought I’d be good at this.” “What do you think I should do?”

Avoidant: Tendency to procrastinate or avoid making decisions altogether. May feel overwhelmed by decision-making and prefer to delay it.

  • Potential Problem: Ending up rather than choosing. “I need to choose a major next week.” “It’s ok I was let go since I didn’t like the job anyhow.”

Spontaneous: Typically make quick decisions without thorough analysis. May rely on their immediate reactions, acting on the spur of the moment.

  • Potential Problem: Going from one job/career to another. “I had to get out of that job/major, though it looked ok initially.” “I feel like a jack of all trades and no career path.”

I’m figuring you have guessed my style by now. A dear friend who has been on this agonizing bathroom renovation journey with me, sweetly joked: “Maybe in your next life you won’t come back as a Libra.”