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“You may have to fight a battle more than 

once to win it.” 

Margaret Thatcher

You might sometimes wonder if you’re going to “bounce back” from your job loss, or perhaps you are struggling to regain your confidence from a dysfunctional work environment. 

Resilience is a process of being able to adapt and move forward in the face of adversity or trauma. One still feels the emotion and distress yet brings forth thoughts and actions to cope. 

Anyone can learn to develop resilience, though some may have more at hand based on circumstances and tendencies. A key strategy for resilience is creating a support system and accepting help, even simply a listening ear. Another angle is to focus on the situation as temporary, or even as an opportunity; you can’t change the reality, but you can shift how you interpret it. Brainstorm what you can do or say to help you feel a bit better. Take action rather than wishing that the pain will go away. 

Affirmation: I acknowledge the pain and do something positive to cope.  

Copyright 2021, Karen Litzinger, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Permission is granted to share for non-commercial purposes with this entire notation, https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted

For 10 complimentary excerpts of the book arriving daily: https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts

You can order the book through either link above.

My Linden tree did not turn out as I hoped. Perhaps that’s what you may be feeling about your career or your life. At times I lament making the “wrong choice.” Then I’m reminded that I’m always sharing with clients there is no one “right choice”. My Linden tree also gave me some happy surprises, like my somewhat annual Linden Tree Party.

Before I share the life lessons, first a bit of back story. Through the entire summer of 1981 I was intoxicated by the sweet fragrance of trees in the West Quad courtyard at the University of Michigan where I did an internship. The fragrance would haunt me on the streets of Pittsburgh. I wanted one of those trees!  Although I bought my house in 1992, it wasn’t until 2003 that I got serious about identifying the mystery tree. In the gift buying process, my sweetheart said the nursery needed to know if I wanted the more fragrant variety or the hardy.  Since I felt a decade late in planting, I chose hardy. It turns out this variety has amazingly fragrant blooms…but just 7-10 days a summer. It  usually blooms the week of my almost annual arts conference vacation away!

Lesson # 1 – Acceptance: I’ve learned (mostly) to accept my tree for what she is as well as accept my own decision.  I try not to judge myself for making a so-called “wrong” choice and for not doing even more research. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know.  Maybe you have experienced negative surprises in a job or career, even after much research and networking.

Lesson #2 – Appreciation: Since my tree just blooms 7-10 days, I’m in heightened gratitude when I’m around.  I spend every minute I can outside under the canopy.  I fill vases as big as my dining room table. When I’m traveling out of town, I take branches of fragrant blooms in the car with me.  I remind myself of the positive aspects to counter other things (including, by the way, that it is a messy, branch and bug-dropping tree). There are naturally plusses and minuses of jobs, careers, relationships. What can you remind yourself to appreciate right now?

Lesson #3 – Creativity: At some point I was inspired to celebrate my Linden’s burst of blooms by inviting my church friend group over. The now beloved Linden Tree Party includes poems, singing, drumming and hands on blessing of the tree, and sometimes an occasional tree hug.  Turning lemons into lemonade!

Lesson #4: Support and Perspective: My friends so love my tree that they help me appreciate it as I still occasionally recount the story as a mistake.  I expect they might not like the “lemons” reference! One friend created a Meaning of Trees booklet in honor of my Linden for a birthday gift. I learned symbolic and cultural insights about my tree including: it represents healing and peace; it was the location of village local courts of law; and it was the hub of festivities with dance platforms constructed inside of massive Lindens in Germany. As a Libra who loves harmony and has a dance room, I learned more reasons to appreciate that this is quite the perfect tree for me.  Who in your life might help you see situations in a different way, teach you new things, or help you understand or cope with a current circumstance?

May you find appreciation for whatever is in your life at the moment.  May you make the changes needed for greater happiness, whether a change of perspective or actual situation. And, of course, if you or someone you know is considering a career or job change, I’d be happy to help.

I cried when he died. And I love when I hear his words and have the opportunity to keep them alive.  This morning my national Transcendental Meditation teacher ended his morning meditation with words from Fred Rogers’ 2002 graduation speech at Dartmouth college where he was an alum.

His words are about life for us all to be inspired by, not just college students in this graduation season.  When I looked up the full text, I found not only the transcript and video from Dartmouth, but also a beautiful article about it on Payscale.com entitled Mister Rogers Speech is All the Career Advice You Need. Both articles were revisiting the memorable speech on the 50th anniversary of the Mister Rogers Neighborhood premiere. Links are at the end of the article.

And, of course, I’m proud that such a fine person is from my city of Pittsburgh.

Graduation speech excerpt from my meditation:

“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about the part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed. So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are.”

~ Excerpted from Fred Roger’s Commencement address to Dartmouth College in 2002

Whether you are a recent graduate or simply trying to find your way to career happiness and success, I also would be honored to help you on your path.

Links to more of his speech:

https://home.dartmouth.edu/news/2018/03/revisiting-fred-rogers-2002-commencement-address

https://www.payscale.com/career-advice/mister-rogers-speech-is-all-the-career-advice-you-need