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Choose Persistence Not Defeat: Ed’s Inspiring Story

I usually don’t read my alumni magazine. As I stood by my recycling bin I opened a page randomly to a huge photo of my best guy friend from Duquesne University, Ed Petner. He and I were leaders in Residence Council which launched my career. Ed was very service oriented, and I remember him explaining how he was going the path of the Wharton School and Wall Street first with a focus on ethics.  His worldly success screeched to a halt on August 23, 2003 when he was hit by a car while biking to work. It left Ed paralyzed from the waist down.

“Defeat was never an option for me” was the headline of the magazine article and what Ed said to the reporter when recounting his childhood of losing his mother at age 5 and his father at age 12. I’m continually amazed at Ed’s positive attitude and how he inspires others.  This reminds me that we have choices in our attitudes regardless of what we face, whether job loss, career frustration, relationships ending, or a loved one’s death.

Ed embodies his drive and heart of service by using his swimming passion to raise money for charities.  Recently he swam 18 miles in his neighborhood pool with a goal of 26 to raise money for the Christopher and Dana Reeves Foundation which is dedicated to curing spinal chord injury. He’s still at it. Recently he shared a video of the Duquesne University swim coach saying that the swim team is dedicating every meter and yard to Ed this summer.

Yes, you understood this right: A 65 year-old guy swimming 26 miles in a summer…who is paralyzed!

If you are inspired, please consider a contribution to help Ed reach his $20,000 goal toward helping cure spinal cord injuries CLICK HERE. \]

For an excerpt on Persistence from Karen’s Book, Help Wanted, CLICK HERE. 

For an excerpt on Resilience from Karen’s Book, Help Wanted, CLICK HERE. 

The posts will also give you links to 10 free excerpts as well as to order the book.

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Resilience – Book Excerpt

“You may have to fight a battle more than 

once to win it.” 

Margaret Thatcher

You might sometimes wonder if you’re going to “bounce back” from your job loss, or perhaps you are struggling to regain your confidence from a dysfunctional work environment. 

Resilience is a process of being able to adapt and move forward in the face of adversity or trauma. One still feels the emotion and distress yet brings forth thoughts and actions to cope. 

Anyone can learn to develop resilience, though some may have more at hand based on circumstances and tendencies. A key strategy for resilience is creating a support system and accepting help, even simply a listening ear. Another angle is to focus on the situation as temporary, or even as an opportunity; you can’t change the reality, but you can shift how you interpret it. Brainstorm what you can do or say to help you feel a bit better. Take action rather than wishing that the pain will go away. 

Affirmation: I acknowledge the pain and do something positive to cope.  

Copyright 2021, Karen Litzinger, Help Wanted: An A to Z Guide to Cope with the Ups and Downs of the Job Search. Permission is granted to share for non-commercial purposes with this entire notation, https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted

For 10 complimentary excerpts of the book arriving daily: https://KarensCareerCoaching.com/help-wanted-free-excerpts

You can order the book through either link above.

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Life Lessons from My Linden Tree

My Linden tree did not turn out as I hoped. Perhaps that’s what you may be feeling about your career or your life. At times I lament making the “wrong choice.” Then I’m reminded that I’m always sharing with clients there is no one “right choice”. My Linden tree also gave me some happy surprises, like my somewhat annual Linden Tree Party.

Before I share the life lessons, first a bit of back story. Through the entire summer of 1981 I was intoxicated by the sweet fragrance of trees in the West Quad courtyard at the University of Michigan where I did an internship. The fragrance would haunt me on the streets of Pittsburgh. I wanted one of those trees!  Although I bought my house in 1992, it wasn’t until 2003 that I got serious about identifying the mystery tree. In the gift buying process, my sweetheart said the nursery needed to know if I wanted the more fragrant variety or the hardy.  Since I felt a decade late in planting, I chose hardy. It turns out this variety has amazingly fragrant blooms…but just 7-10 days a summer. It  usually blooms the week of my almost annual arts conference vacation away!

Lesson # 1 – Acceptance: I’ve learned (mostly) to accept my tree for what she is as well as accept my own decision.  I try not to judge myself for making a so-called “wrong” choice and for not doing even more research. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know.  Maybe you have experienced negative surprises in a job or career, even after much research and networking.

Lesson #2 – Appreciation: Since my tree just blooms 7-10 days, I’m in heightened gratitude when I’m around.  I spend every minute I can outside under the canopy.  I fill vases as big as my dining room table. When I’m traveling out of town, I take branches of fragrant blooms in the car with me.  I remind myself of the positive aspects to counter other things (including, by the way, that it is a messy, branch and bug-dropping tree). There are naturally plusses and minuses of jobs, careers, relationships. What can you remind yourself to appreciate right now?

Lesson #3 – Creativity: At some point I was inspired to celebrate my Linden’s burst of blooms by inviting my church friend group over. The now beloved Linden Tree Party includes poems, singing, drumming and hands on blessing of the tree, and sometimes an occasional tree hug.  Turning lemons into lemonade!

Lesson #4: Support and Perspective: My friends so love my tree that they help me appreciate it as I still occasionally recount the story as a mistake.  I expect they might not like the “lemons” reference! One friend created a Meaning of Trees booklet in honor of my Linden for a birthday gift. I learned symbolic and cultural insights about my tree including: it represents healing and peace; it was the location of village local courts of law; and it was the hub of festivities with dance platforms constructed inside of massive Lindens in Germany. As a Libra who loves harmony and has a dance room, I learned more reasons to appreciate that this is quite the perfect tree for me.  Who in your life might help you see situations in a different way, teach you new things, or help you understand or cope with a current circumstance?

May you find appreciation for whatever is in your life at the moment.  May you make the changes needed for greater happiness, whether a change of perspective or actual situation. And, of course, if you or someone you know is considering a career or job change, I’d be happy to help.