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Is there a co-worker or client who treated you poorly? Or a supervisor who passed you over for a promotion?  Or perhaps you were terminated from your job and still feeling resentment or anger? Whether in work or personal life, the act of forgiveness is for you, to set you free of resentment and bondage. Not forgiving someone or an institution gives them power over you. It can affect you emotionally, mentally and physically.  In the job search, the emotions of resentment or victimhood can seep out, including during networking attempts.  On your job, the negative emotions may contaminate the good work you do and impact your progress as well as your happiness.

Forgiving isn’t excusing poor behavior or seeing it as acceptable. Ask yourself if reliving or holding on to the past is helpful to you.  You can choose to forgive someone directly or within your heart.

If you feel a barrier to forgiveness, consider this alternative affirmation (by Anthony Diaz from the December 2018 Guide for Spiritual Living) to release your pain and open space for more positive things in your life:

“I release and move through this experience and the power it has over me easily and effortlessly. I let go of any pain or hurt I felt, knowing it no longer serves me or my life. I am open to those experiences that serve and support me on my journey.”

May this season of Light bring you insight to forgive and begin the year with more Lightness.

When I went to my first college reunion last year and peered in the window of the Residence Life office, a poster caught my eye.  As a business etiquette speaker, I loved seeing the message of civility hanging prominently.  On and off during the year, I thought I’d love to get a copy of that poster.

This year when I was invited to a Residence Life reunion as part of Homecoming, I took the opportunity to ask about the poster.  Many thanks to Megan Julius for researching it and sending it to me with permission to share.

This inspired me to share about a new book published this year, Mastering Civility by management professor Christine Porath. She makes a case quoting research studies that the workplace would be more effective with more civility rather than the tough and aggressive corporate culture our society often supports.

Multiple research studies demonstrate how rudeness and bullying have a negative impact on performance. After being belittled as a group, participants in one experiment had 39% fewer creative ideas in brainstorming and did 33% worse on an annagram-type puzzle. Another experiment showed that even observing incivility decreased performance on two tests, 20% and 30%, compared to a control group.

An excellent summary of the book and great links to research is in the article How to Reduce Rudeness in the Workplace at Greater Good Magazine.

I hope the art and research inspire YOU.  Please pass them on.  Goodness knows we need civility more than ever!  Thank you Duquesne for getting the word out. Makes me proud!